Parenting Styles

 Are you a parent that wants the control and respect, are you a parent that allows your kids to make up their own mind and make their own decisions, are you a parent that just doesn't want to be involved because your too busy or are you a parent that wants to stay middle ground where you have your rules and the children can have a say as well? If you answered yes to any of those, that's probably your parenting style. 

There are four types of parenting styles. There is authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and uninvolved styles of parenting. Each type of parenting style is different, and represents the method and strategies parents choose to parent by. 

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative Parenting are parents that have some give and take between them and their children. These parents have rules that are expected to be follow, and are also flexible, hear the child's opinions, and fair. Authoritative parents have a good balance between having firm limits and offer nurturing and support to their children. These parents attempt to control their children's behavior by teaching explaining rules, discussing, and reasoning with their children. Children being raised by Authoritative Parents tend to be friendly, energetic, cheerful, self-reliant, self-controlled, curious, cooperative, and achievement oriented (American Psychological Association).

Lauren Pardee from parents.com explains authoritative parents as parents that try to maintain a positive relationship with their children. They also enforce rules, give consequences, and consider their children's feelings. They make it clear that parents have authority, yet give their children opportunities to make decisions. Pardee goes on to say these children learn to deal with their anger, are respectful and responsible, more likely to be happy and successful, and are able to clearly express their emotions. (2024). 

Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parents are those who approach parenting with the "my way or the highway" approach. They are not flexible in listening to children, they have strict rules that are expected to be followed, and there is little to no room for negotiation. Children raised by Authoritarian parents cold, critical, punitive, and try to control through threats, shaming, or other punishments (American Psychological Association).

Pardee (2024) explains authoritarian parents as parents who think their children should be seen not heard, parents that do not take their child's feelings into consideration, and often say "because I said so". They also make the rules and enforce them with little regard to the children. Pardee goes on to say children raised by authoritarian parents may struggle with social skills, making up decisions on their own, can be aggressive, and have poor judgement in character. 

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Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are warm, but relaxed in rules and expectations. These type of parents do not set limits and children are often left without parental supervision. This type of parenting requires children to be more mature in their behavior. Children raised by permissive parents tend to be impulsive, rebel, are aimless and domineering, aggressive, and have low self-control and achievement (American Psychological Association).

An article by Lauren Pardee explains permissive parents as parents who make rules but do not enforce them, believe children learn best with little interference from you, and do not give consequences often. She goes on to explain these children lack responsibility, are impulsive, struggle with anxiety and depression, and struggle in academics.

Uninvolved Parting

Have you seen Matilda, is so, its the perfect representation of an uninvolved parent. These parents unavailable, unresponsive, and reject their children. Children that have experienced abuse generally have uninvolved parents. Children that have uninvolved parents tend to have low self-esteem and low self-confidence. They seek attention from others, and sometimes have inappropriate behavior. These children often find a role model instead of turning to their parents as role models (American Psychological Association). 

Pardee says parents that are uninvolved rarely know where their child is and who they are with, do not spend a lot of time with their children, and do not ask their children about their homework. She says parents that are involved have children that act out, might have substance abuse, and are delinquents (2024). 

As parents, it is difficult to manage exactly how to have the right parenting style. Each child is different, and should be parented different. What works with one child may not work with the other. So now could be the time to ask yourself, what type of parent am I? Do I like my style of parenting or should I change to a different approach? 

American Psychological Association. (2017). Parenting styles. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/act/resources/fact-sheets/parenting-styles#:~:text=Authoritative,don’t%20always%20accept%20it. 

Pardee, L., (2024 Febraury 22). What is your parenting style, and why does it matter? Parents. https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/parenting-styles-explained/